I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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