I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
