marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No subtext here. People are naked.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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