We're like a lot better than the average bears
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize