oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My feet surprised me
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
