phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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