we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
