found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
