Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
