is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
