I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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