WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize