May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
