Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
