The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Everything about him screamed your future.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
