It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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