The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
