That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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