ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
