i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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