the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
