Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
