i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
