her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
