2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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