it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
