She announced her abortion via fbk
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
