I think i sorta joined a cult last night
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
