so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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