I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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