she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
