WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
