nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
