I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
