Already got asked if we're dating
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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