You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
