U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Bring me that man meat
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
