singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize