someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
