I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
