her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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