What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
