glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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