we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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