i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she peed on how many people?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Randomize
