I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
