And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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