I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
