U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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