After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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