Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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