Christians are straight up FREAKS
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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