Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize