nut hugger
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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