I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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