Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
