There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
