Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
