I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
