escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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