I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
