His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
